11th May 2013: So I said, hey hey get out of here, there are too many wild animals in this place,

and she was like, of course there are, it's a zoo, it's not a barn, it's not a simple case of a few chickens, I mean when I said we were coming here, what did you think I was saying?



She was eating on some pop corn she'd purchased from from a zoo pop corn vendor as she spoke so she started to choke.

Damn it, she said, I can't even eat pop corn right. Every minute of every day, I'm getting basic easy things wrong, and I mean, pop corn, that's like one of the easiest things to eat.

I had difficulty with French fries just last week. She said that, and I just said, grow up. Hurry up and grow up. It's not like junk food is difficult to eat. It's not like you're eating Irish stew or something. It's rammed with sugar and preservatives and that kind of junk.

She said, I know but I can't help it, I can't helping wanting to eat what's delicious.

You should eat fresh stuff, I told her, like kiwis. Kiwis travel for ages.

We were looking at leopards at this point. Enormous leopards in cages, next to monkeys in cages. There were smaller, non-furry species too, but just as rare. Newts. Octopi in the aquarium. Penguins in the freezing area.



We were chatting quite loudly and a zoo warden came up to us and said, "quiet, please, near the monkeys."

So we left the monkey cages and went looking for the rainforest area. We got caught up looking at spiders, then at turtles, and never made it to the rainforest.



This place is so expensive, I said, I know she replied.

But animals are expensive in the upkeep, and they need to be fed something.



Very true, I said, very true, and maybe with a bit more money, they could accommodate a whale, or pay for animal medical care. MRI scanning monkeys, X raying lizards, giving a hippo an artificial limb. Yeah. Let's go home. I've had enough of the zoo.